CHINA -Open Doors Impacting Marriages
03/05/06 - Couples, Families Benefit From Seminars
Today – as China opens up to new ideas, materialism and western influences – the divorce rate in the PRC is soaring. In Shanghai, divorce rates have increased 20 times in the past 20 years.
Christian families – especially church leaders – face intense pressure. Satan is seeking to break up families and marriages.
Chinese evangelist Tommy has never celebrated a birthday with his 30-year old son and has been home only once to celebrate his youngest son’s birthday.
Tommy has been in prison for his faith five times for a total of 12 years. And when not imprisoned, he is often on the road preaching and leading people to Christ whilst trying to avoid the police.
As a result, he has been at home for less than a month each year during his marriage. That obviously has put a tremendous strain on the 30-year marriage of Tommy and Martha, who live in southern Hunan Province.
Tommy says, “To follow the Lord, you must put down a lot of things, even family! From most people’s perspective, I owe my wife and children a lot. I have never given a gift to my wife … but if every Christian is safe and in comfort at home, the Lord’s kingdom will not expand.”
When Martha married Tommy 30 years ago, she was not a believer and had no inkling of the price many Christians must pay for their faith in Christ. She says, “When we married, I didn’t believe yet. When Tommy was arrested for the first time and sent to labour camp for seven years, our child was six months old. I raised him in the isolated mountains where we lived. In the Chinese New Year, Christian friends came for a visit. They gave me some food and comfort … no touching songs, only a simple sermon and prayer, but I was touched. I didn’t understand why they climbed the mountain just to pay a visit. So I became a believer.”
I had known Tommy for more than 20 years, but had never seen him with his wife. There were many questions I wanted to ask him, such as why has he never brought her in front of his colleagues? Why doesn’t he spend more time at home? And how does Martha feel about his absence?
Martha did tell me, “My husband is constantly being pursued by the police and sometimes he is in jail. This is a glorifying thing.
"A few months ago, he was coming home, but a brother came and warned him that the police were watching our house. Otherwise, he would have been arrested on his way home.
“In 1991, Tommy’s father passed away. Tommy was at the gates of our village, but because the police were looking for him, he had to pass the village without entering, and I had no way to tell him to come back home to attend the funeral.
"We chose this road together and we have no complaints. Even the children don’t complain.”
Despite accepting the challenges that come with being servants of the Lord, Tommy and Martha realised their marriage needed some mending.
In September 2004, 40 couples – many of them church leaders – gathered for a 'couples’ camp'. During one night, the leaders of the village churches (some of them were grandparents) prepared a western-style wedding in which the couples renewed their vows. The couples walked hand in hand into the small chapel, keeping in beat with the music. Compared to most of their original weddings, this wedding was luxurious.
Tommy confessed in front of the group and apologised to Martha:
“I’m very sorry, my wife. I promised to be with you to support you when you were to give birth to our son, but when a brother was arrested, I went to take his place bringing Bibles to Northern China, whilst you endured the pain of childbirth alone.
“How many promises have I broken? Yet you continued to tend the farm and raise the children. You even refused to marry another man when your family put pressure on you while I was in prison. You must have suffered much anxiety and loneliness. I am deeply sorry. Please forgive me!”
Other couples were also in tears during the conference. Many of the couples had similar testimonies during this emotional time.
A few months after the couples’ camp, Tommy was again arrested and is still in custody at the start of 2006. Martha is once again faced with the difficulties of life without her husband.
Open Doors is committed to training leaders and pastors in China and is also focusing on their families and marriages. As a result, in 2006 Open Doors will conduct more marriage and family conferences. Please pray that the Lord will use these conferences to transform and heal marriages, families and, sometimes, even an entire house-church network.
I was amazed and thankful when I heard reports that second-level church leaders could not even recognise their own top leaders after they returned from the marriage seminar because it had affected their marriages so deeply. The needs are real and the requests are urgent.
Open Doors UK & Ireland – Phone: 01993 885400, email info@opendoorsuk.org or visit www.opendoorsuk.org
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Open Doors strengthens persecuted Christians in over 45 countries across the world by
1. Training Church leaders and Christian workers
2. Supplying Bibles, hymnals, Sunday School materials and other Christian literature
3. Providing livelihood training and self-help opportunities
4. Visiting, comforting and encouraging those who are suffering
5. Raising awareness of the difficulties persecuted Christians face and mobilising prayer for them throughout the western world.
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